Waiting On the World to Change (sort of)

            Have you ever had that feeling where you know you have to do something, but you really, really, really don’t want to?  I get that a lot.  The thing is, I’m a pre-worrier (or would it be ante-worrier?).  Anyway, the point is I worry about things before they happen, and then when they actually do come into fruition, I realize it’s not a big deal.  I guess I would rather have it this way than the other way around.

            But, it really sucks sometimes.  If something big is gonna happen—the kind of thing that has tons of planning going into it—then I have all sorts of time to figure out every single little thing that could possibly go wrong, or every reason I really shouldn’t do whatever it is, or whatever.

            Sometimes, I even talk myself out of (fill in the blank), and I miss out on a lot because of it.  Anyway, it’s really stupid, and I hate doing it, but I can’t really seem to stop.  On the upside, when something does go wrong, it doesn’t throw me.  Plus, since I’ve done all my worrying beforehand I can (usually, sometimes, -ish) relax once things are actually set in motion, so I guess it isn’t all bad.

            Anyway, my mum’s getting married.  Yeah, weird.  It’s cool though, the guy’s pretty dang awesome, and he makes her really happy.  I like him loads, so it’s all good.  I really am happy for them, not just saying it ‘cause I’m s’posed to or whatever, I honestly think it’s great.  Only, now I’m starting to get that nervous feeling that I always do, that sort of manic tension.  It’s a little different; I’m not playing out scenarios in my head.  But still, it’s annoying.

            I just wanna be happy for them, and help out with the wedding type stuff.  I know it’s gonna be awesome once it actually happens, but now I’ve got that weird pit-of-my-stomach feeling.  The one that happens right before something changes, even when the change is good, because you don’t what you’re changing from, but not so much what you’re changing to.

            I’ve got that feeling for a lot of things though, the school year’s almost over and next year I’ll be going to a different school, and all sorts of stuff.  So I’ve got that feeling sort of amassed from all the different changes, and it’s become pretty much a constant.  It’s pretty weird.  Anyway, I’m looking forward to all this stuff finally happening so I can stop stressing.  But, I’ll also miss the way things are now.

            It’s one of those things where change is good, but you still miss the way things were, even though it was good to move on.  You know?

           

            -The Shadow Knight

Secrets Told

Nothing was left

Secrets laid bare

Empty words mumur

No reason to care

Hidden thoughts laid out

For all the world to see

Turn and swiftly run away

What will they think of me

Silent words

Now screamed aloud

Run and hide

And don’t be found

Now they know

Don’t let them see

Darkness cover

Please to hide

What’s become of me

            -The Shadow Knight

Love

            Love is when someone is hurting, and you want to take their place.  When you love someone, you want them to be happy.  Love is when something you say makes them smile, and that smile makes your day.  Love is when someone matters to you.  Love is when someone is sad, and you are too, even though you don’t even know what happened.  Love is when you say hello to the person no one likes.  Love is when someone sees that you are sad, and they crack a cheesy joke, just to make you smile.  Love is hugging your sister.  Love is listening instead of talking.  Love is telling the truth.  Love is being yourself, and trusting them to see you as you are.

    -The Shadow Knight

Ruins

Wandering aimlessly

Empty halls

All is silent

One tear falls

Dirt and cobwebs

Cover the floor

Alone and forgotten

Hope is no more

One lost soul

Still stands alone

In the ruins

Of his once home

Day after day

Year after year

His only words

In one silent tear

-The Shadow Knight

Shadowlight

The dark shines brighter than summer’s day.

Light bends in the shadows.

Eyes pierce deepest cloud,

But muddle through clear skies.

Murkiest ponds are seen with a glance.

Crystal streams remain unknown.

Thickest smoke-clouds studied and shown,

While fire-light forgotted to embers falls.

The dusty traveler wanders alone.

Mighty kings forget their homes.

       -The Shadow Knight

Nevermore

Ashes to ground.

Smoke to air.

Fire fades and dies.

Heat is no more.

Cold seeps in.

Darkness falls.

Shadows roar.

Empty and silent.

Smoke flies away.

Torn apart.

Torn away.

Burning nevermore.

Glowing embers fade to ash.

Ashes scattered in the dirt.

Flames not remembered.

Evidence gone.

Burning, burning nevermore.

Ashes to ground.

New life begins.

Born from ashes,

Of those who came before.

Changing.

Shifting.

Form to form.

Fires burning evermore.

-The Shadow Knight

Inspirations of Daedalus

I’ve been writing a story for my Creative Writing class.  We found words written on signs or other places all over the school.  When we put them all together, we ended up with a list of 240 words.  The assignment was to write a story using 100 of those words.  We also have to use correct story format (exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution), but beyond that we can write whatever we want, even the length is up  to us as long as we use the 100 words.

My partner and I decided on a story sometime in the future where there are cameras everywhere, you never know when someone’s watching you, and if you get caught there is no sentencing.  It doesn’t matter if you killed someone or stole a box of crackers (which one of the characters did), you get dropped in the middle of this giant maze.  If you can find the way out, then you’ll be free, but no one’s ever done that.

If you stay near the center of the maze—Daedalus—then you’re relatively safe.  There’s food, it’s in good shape, and the monsters don’t usually go there.  But, the further away from the middle you go, the more deadly it becomes.  There are various Challenges, monsters, puzzles, all sorts of things.  The monsters, of course, will kill you if they can, but the other things won’t harm you, but you can only pass if you get them right.

Also, there are different biomes (yeppers, totally just used a minecraft term there) the center is stone.  It’s clean and there’s sunlight, it doesn’t rain much, but there are some pools to drink from.  Other places could be anything.  One is frozen solid.  The floors and walls are made of ice, and it’s constantly in mid-blizzard.  One is all mirrors.  In one of them, gravity changes.

Anyway when the two characters (Cracker and Dillinger) find what they find (I can’t say what ‘cause that’d blow the ending) what they realize is that what they thought they wanted isn’t really worth it.  They’d been searching for what everyone thought was the best, but they figured out that to get it, they’d haveta give up what they already had, and to them, it wasn’t worth the tradeoff.

Writing this has really made me think about what I want.  Is it really me that wants it?  Or is it just the fact that society has told me all my life how good it is?  Have you ever asked yourself that?  If you really think about it, it can blow your mind.  Or at least it did mine.

-The Shadow Knight